Saturday, 21 January 2012

Holla! City of Squala!


Ok, I was expecting a tourist hell hole and to be fair it was actually better that I expected. I thought I might as well go the whole hog and stay on Ko San Road and try to embrace the madness. Within half an hour of checking in I got chatting to a really hot aussie girl who was travelling with her mate, but he'd gone off to bed so  I offered to hang out with her and hit a few places. Now I've been reading 'the game' ever since I bought it in Saigon and ever since then I've been employing some of the tactics they talk about and been pretty damn successful with the ladies ever since. One of the things they talk about and emphasize the importance of is 'peacocking' which is the process of having elaborate clothes and/or accessories when you go out so that you stick out from the crowd and it gives a conversation breaker. This works a treat! I had a santa hat on which is how I got talking to the hot Aussie girl in the first place (I employed this tactic at the full moon party on Ko Panyang by wearing a bright pink ladies hat suitable for a wedding and it made a cracking conversation starter :-)). So the two of us headed onto ko-san road and shared a couple of buckets. She then proposed that we head back to the hostel for a bit so as we walked back I was thinking 'I'm in here'! As I set up the pool table she went up to her room to get something and after half an hour of waiting for her to come back downstairs I gave up waiting and went back out on my own. When I spoke to her the following morning it turns out that she'd thrown up then passed out in her room! So the lesson here is that buckets are lethally strong and a drunk girl flirting with you may rapidly turn into a passed out girl.... not flirting with you!

The next morning me and a couple of other people went out for a tuk tuk tour of the city, now I'd read in the lonely planet about tuk truk scams where by they don't take you where you want to go but instead take you to tailors and travel agencies to get commission out of you. So we'd agreed to pay this tuk tuk man 20 baht each for a tour of the city, stopping at a couple of temples and a couple of 'shops' and after 2 temples, 4 travel agencies and 4 tailors the tuk tuk man was fed up of the fact that we weren't spending any money in any of the places and abandoned us at one of the tailors without us even paying for the 'tour'! I thought it was hilarious that he'd wasted like 3 hours of his own time and given us a free tour of the city and his 'scam' back fired as we hadn't earned him any money :-). We then grabbed a local bus to MBK, a big shopping center in Bangkok, and I bought myself a mobile phone and the others bought some supplies. That night I grabbed a sleeper bus to the islands and met these three guys from Melbourne who I partied and stayed with for the next few days on Samui.

So there we have it, the capital of sex and seediness and I didn't go to any ping pong shows or get with any lady/ladyboys. Pretty tame really! 

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